Thursday, August 21, 2008
South Pacific
Go watch it! Okay, go rent it as it's from 1958. Best movie ever. I never knew it was more than "I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair" It's racist and derogatory. It's got short shorts, island dancing, GI's doing horrible things, outdoor showering, ridiculous plot lines, bad rhymes. Oh, and nurses, lots of nurses. It's pretty freakin' amazing.
Jam and early morning rambling thoughts
So, made jam. Yup, it's what's ya gotta do when you have a box full of peaches quickly rotting. Made a fuck-ton of jam. (sorry mom) Six batches, 25 lbs of sugar, lots of lemons, stick of butter. end result: 72 jars of jam. Jars are various sizes. It's to make up for my complete jam laziness so far this year. And peach jam is my favorite. Luckily, it was very cool today. And if you don't start jamming until, let's say for instance 6 pm, it's cool outside. Franklin is very confused. Why are you doing this, now? He says with his beady devil eyes. Right before he takes a chunk out of my wrist. It was all my fault; I pet him. I petted? Pat? Help me, please.
Now for something completely different. Hmm- is that monty python? Whatever, Shania Twain, that is my next topic. I think the python boys were being sarcastic, but I am not. So, for those intelligent, well-read people out there, lemme explain. Shania Twain is a country music star from Canada. Break out hit years and years ago was Whose Bed Have your Boots been under? I'm not making this up. Seriously, I remember hearing it at Six Flags Over Atlanta in 6th grade. First time I ever heard country music. So, this is not a song that gets heavy country music play. Maybe once a month I'll hear it. But, recently, I've been hearing it alot. Like 3 times this week. And I'm thinking it might have a little something to do with Shania's dirtbag husband cheating on her with her assistant, and older, uglier, skankier (yes, skankier than a woman named Shania). Oh, and the husband's name is Mutt. No joke. So, I think Clear Channel or whoever is being a little nasty.
No luck uploading pics from camera to computer. It keeps shutting down and crying. Like an old man on life support. So, I'll ask Matt for help next time I see him. And probably just bring it to the friendly boys at Mac world or Mac town or Mac heaven. Whatever dumb name they've come up with for the place where mac nerds hang out and do lame things. For money, like the little mac sluts they are.
Dammit, I ended a sentence with a preposition. I realize that my grammatical errors are many. And I often do them on purpose, but how am I supposed to contrast that sentence?
Now for something completely different. Hmm- is that monty python? Whatever, Shania Twain, that is my next topic. I think the python boys were being sarcastic, but I am not. So, for those intelligent, well-read people out there, lemme explain. Shania Twain is a country music star from Canada. Break out hit years and years ago was Whose Bed Have your Boots been under? I'm not making this up. Seriously, I remember hearing it at Six Flags Over Atlanta in 6th grade. First time I ever heard country music. So, this is not a song that gets heavy country music play. Maybe once a month I'll hear it. But, recently, I've been hearing it alot. Like 3 times this week. And I'm thinking it might have a little something to do with Shania's dirtbag husband cheating on her with her assistant, and older, uglier, skankier (yes, skankier than a woman named Shania). Oh, and the husband's name is Mutt. No joke. So, I think Clear Channel or whoever is being a little nasty.
No luck uploading pics from camera to computer. It keeps shutting down and crying. Like an old man on life support. So, I'll ask Matt for help next time I see him. And probably just bring it to the friendly boys at Mac world or Mac town or Mac heaven. Whatever dumb name they've come up with for the place where mac nerds hang out and do lame things. For money, like the little mac sluts they are.
Dammit, I ended a sentence with a preposition. I realize that my grammatical errors are many. And I often do them on purpose, but how am I supposed to contrast that sentence?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Copy Cat
Alicia just posted something similar, but I think at least she will appreciate the following list of rules. Which I truly, truly, madly, deeply believe should be posted in triage. And in ER rooms. And the hallway. Maybe the trauma bays too. Just in case we let a trauma pt move their neck.
Here are some tips to those who may end up in an ER (or with a family member.)
*If it requires the ambulance team and entire truck of firefighters to transport you and safely place you on a hospital stretcher it is time to go on a diet.
*When you present to the triage nurse, do not tell him/her that your doctor called ahead. If you survey our waiting area, probably 50% of the people waiting said the same thing and the other 50% use the ER as their regular doctor.
*Never start out by saying, "I was searching the Internet....." or "I called Telehealth and they told me..."
*When asked how much you weigh, please do not give the deer in the headlights look, and tell us you really don't know. It's a simple question, simple answer.
*Just because you have a phone and know how to call 911, we are not impressed by your arrival on an ambulance stretcher. You had better be sick.
*If you came escorted via EMS for multiple complaints that started more than one week ago and your entire family followed the ambulance to the hospital, you will be labeled a pussy (or Muffin in Distress – MID) and treated like one, enjoy the waiting area with your family. One complaint/ailment per visit, please.
*Just because you came in by ambulance, doesn't mean you're going home by one. You better start making arrangements, now. I am not driving you home, or figuring out how to get you home. Cab vouchers are not an option.
*If you have one of these four, go to your own doctor in the morning: a migraine; the flu; a stomach virus; or a stuffy nose.
*Do not ask us how long it will be. We don't know. I don't know what is coming through my door 30 seconds from now and so I sure as hell don't know when you're getting a room.
*We have priorities. We understand that you have been waiting for two hours in the waiting room. If you don't want to wait, make an appointment with a doctor. The little old lady that just walked in looking OK to you is probably having a massive heart attack. That is why she goes first.
*If your mother/sister/boyfriend etc. is a patient and we ask them a question, let them answer it.
*If your child has a fever, you had damn well better give it Tylenol before coming in. DO NOT let the fever remain high just so I will believe the child has a fever. Do you want your child to have a seizure? Do you?
*If you are well enough to complain about the wait, you are well enough to go home.
*Do not utter the words "it is in my chart", I don't have your chart, and I don't have the time to wade through it. Just tell me.
*We know how many times you've been to an ER. We can usually tell if you are faking it during the first 5 seconds of talking to you.
*Do not lie to us. If you lie about one thing, we will assume you are lying about everything. You don't want that.
*If you have diabetes and do not control it, you are committing slow suicide.
*If you are a female between 16 and 42 and your last period was between 28-35 days ago, please don't waste our time if you are here for abdominal pain and vaginal bleeding. Guess what!!?? You got your period --- AGAIN!
*Do not bring your entire posse with you. One person at the bedside is all you need. It is really difficult to get around seven people in the event that you are really sick.
*Every time I ask you a question, I learn more about what is wrong with you. I don't care if I asked you what day it is four different times. Each time I ask, it is for a reason. Just answer the questions, regardless whether you have answered them before.
*If you want something, be nice. I will go out of my way to piss off rude people.
*Our definition of sick is not your definition of sick. If a member of the ER staff says that someone is sick, it means that they are in the process of DYING. They have had a massive stroke, are bleeding out, having a heart attack, or shot. We don't consider a kidney stone sick. Painful, yes. Sick, no.
*At any given time, one nurse has at least 4 patients. One doctor has at least 15. There is a law (similar to Murphy's) in the ER. If you have four patients: one of them will be sick (see above for definition); one of them will be whining constantly; one of them will be homeless; and one of them will a delightful patient. (Don't be the whiner). Please.
*If you see someone pushing a big cart down the hall at full speed and you hear bells going off, do not ask for a cup of coffee. Someone is dying, you inconsiderate asshole.
*In the ER, bells don't ring for nothing (unless it's your $#@$ call bell, again). Sit down, shut up, and let us work.
*If you can bitch about the blood pressure cuff being too tight, or the IV hurting, you are not in that much pain.
*Physicians and nurses are not waiters. This is not McDonalds, and you very well may NOT have it your way. Our job is to save your life, or at least make you feel better. If you want a pillow, two blankets and the lights dimmed, go to the Ramada.
*If you have any sort of stomach pain and you ask for something to eat, you are not sick.
*Do not talk shit about the other members of staff I work with. The doctor that you hate? I work with them every day, and I know that they know what they are doing. I trust them a lot more that I trust you. I am not here to be your friend, and neither are they. I will tell them what you said, and we will laugh about it. If you want a buddy, go somewhere else.
*Please don't tell us how to do our job. Do we go to your place of business and tell you how to do your job?
*Please don't bring in a show and tell. If you have to fish it out of the toilet, it's really not necessary to bring it in; we will take your word.
*If you did fish something out of the toilet, you may not use my pen.
Here are some tips to those who may end up in an ER (or with a family member.)
*If it requires the ambulance team and entire truck of firefighters to transport you and safely place you on a hospital stretcher it is time to go on a diet.
*When you present to the triage nurse, do not tell him/her that your doctor called ahead. If you survey our waiting area, probably 50% of the people waiting said the same thing and the other 50% use the ER as their regular doctor.
*Never start out by saying, "I was searching the Internet....." or "I called Telehealth and they told me..."
*When asked how much you weigh, please do not give the deer in the headlights look, and tell us you really don't know. It's a simple question, simple answer.
*Just because you have a phone and know how to call 911, we are not impressed by your arrival on an ambulance stretcher. You had better be sick.
*If you came escorted via EMS for multiple complaints that started more than one week ago and your entire family followed the ambulance to the hospital, you will be labeled a pussy (or Muffin in Distress – MID) and treated like one, enjoy the waiting area with your family. One complaint/ailment per visit, please.
*Just because you came in by ambulance, doesn't mean you're going home by one. You better start making arrangements, now. I am not driving you home, or figuring out how to get you home. Cab vouchers are not an option.
*If you have one of these four, go to your own doctor in the morning: a migraine; the flu; a stomach virus; or a stuffy nose.
*Do not ask us how long it will be. We don't know. I don't know what is coming through my door 30 seconds from now and so I sure as hell don't know when you're getting a room.
*We have priorities. We understand that you have been waiting for two hours in the waiting room. If you don't want to wait, make an appointment with a doctor. The little old lady that just walked in looking OK to you is probably having a massive heart attack. That is why she goes first.
*If your mother/sister/boyfriend etc. is a patient and we ask them a question, let them answer it.
*If your child has a fever, you had damn well better give it Tylenol before coming in. DO NOT let the fever remain high just so I will believe the child has a fever. Do you want your child to have a seizure? Do you?
*If you are well enough to complain about the wait, you are well enough to go home.
*Do not utter the words "it is in my chart", I don't have your chart, and I don't have the time to wade through it. Just tell me.
*We know how many times you've been to an ER. We can usually tell if you are faking it during the first 5 seconds of talking to you.
*Do not lie to us. If you lie about one thing, we will assume you are lying about everything. You don't want that.
*If you have diabetes and do not control it, you are committing slow suicide.
*If you are a female between 16 and 42 and your last period was between 28-35 days ago, please don't waste our time if you are here for abdominal pain and vaginal bleeding. Guess what!!?? You got your period --- AGAIN!
*Do not bring your entire posse with you. One person at the bedside is all you need. It is really difficult to get around seven people in the event that you are really sick.
*Every time I ask you a question, I learn more about what is wrong with you. I don't care if I asked you what day it is four different times. Each time I ask, it is for a reason. Just answer the questions, regardless whether you have answered them before.
*If you want something, be nice. I will go out of my way to piss off rude people.
*Our definition of sick is not your definition of sick. If a member of the ER staff says that someone is sick, it means that they are in the process of DYING. They have had a massive stroke, are bleeding out, having a heart attack, or shot. We don't consider a kidney stone sick. Painful, yes. Sick, no.
*At any given time, one nurse has at least 4 patients. One doctor has at least 15. There is a law (similar to Murphy's) in the ER. If you have four patients: one of them will be sick (see above for definition); one of them will be whining constantly; one of them will be homeless; and one of them will a delightful patient. (Don't be the whiner). Please.
*If you see someone pushing a big cart down the hall at full speed and you hear bells going off, do not ask for a cup of coffee. Someone is dying, you inconsiderate asshole.
*In the ER, bells don't ring for nothing (unless it's your $#@$ call bell, again). Sit down, shut up, and let us work.
*If you can bitch about the blood pressure cuff being too tight, or the IV hurting, you are not in that much pain.
*Physicians and nurses are not waiters. This is not McDonalds, and you very well may NOT have it your way. Our job is to save your life, or at least make you feel better. If you want a pillow, two blankets and the lights dimmed, go to the Ramada.
*If you have any sort of stomach pain and you ask for something to eat, you are not sick.
*Do not talk shit about the other members of staff I work with. The doctor that you hate? I work with them every day, and I know that they know what they are doing. I trust them a lot more that I trust you. I am not here to be your friend, and neither are they. I will tell them what you said, and we will laugh about it. If you want a buddy, go somewhere else.
*Please don't tell us how to do our job. Do we go to your place of business and tell you how to do your job?
*Please don't bring in a show and tell. If you have to fish it out of the toilet, it's really not necessary to bring it in; we will take your word.
*If you did fish something out of the toilet, you may not use my pen.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Dinner
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/POTATO-CORN-CHOWDER-242862
it's delicious. i cut back the cream like the reviewers suggested. didn't measure the pepper- maybe i should have, it's a little sparky. but very very delicious. i'm proud of myself.
it's delicious. i cut back the cream like the reviewers suggested. didn't measure the pepper- maybe i should have, it's a little sparky. but very very delicious. i'm proud of myself.
Peaches!!
So, I'm a Georgia girl. I hate to admit it, but I kinda am. But only kinda. Georgia is famous for it's peaches. Which is strange, in a way, as it produces significantly fewer peaches than California and Washington. Idaho, Oregon, NY, South Carolina produce about as many peaches as Georgia. And this year, the Georgia crop was small and over with by like June. Peaches just showed up here a couple of weeks ago and are expected to last for 3-4 more weeks. I'm off to my favorite place, Sauvie Island to pick peaches, maybe some corn and dahlias. I don't need corn or dahlias. But, they're just fun to pick. And I think I'll make a corn potato chowder. I've got to start actually cooking. One cannot live on root beer floats alone. Though one could/should try.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Thunder!!
Awesome thunderstorms yesterday and today. Heat wave broke, thank goodness. Thunder scared the bejesus out of the dog. Poor thing. Cat was pretty freaked out too. Meant to pick peaches today but having trouble with the sleeping. Maybe tomorrow. Porch is done. Roses are still blooming. Watched the Olympics at Matt's yesterday. Started out outside watching on the big screen. Rain sent us running inside. Ceiling is the best flat white surface around, so we laid on the floor to watch. Running, gymnastics, diving. Very nice. Feels even lazier than sitting around watching athletics.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Day 14
Drove to Lincoln City to visit with Maryann, Clint and Davyn. Chowder, outlets and the beach. They're crazy. We're crazy. Drive was beautiful. Oh, the night before we watched a movie the night before that I can't disclose. It's gotta be a secret. Sorry. Then Tuesday night we hung out in Matt's treehouse watching the Olympics. Running to work, Mom's gotta be a little more patient.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Day 13: Monday
Yah, caitlin keeps sleeping. Maybe we'll eat dinner. Maybe we'll go out. Maybe we'll make chocolate mousse. Maybe watch the Olympics. Caitlin has a muscle spasm/pull/strain that's making life difficult. Colleen is reading.
Day 12
Yup, serene lake it was. Reports differ wildly. Apparently there was fun. Beauty. Cold. Ice water lake. Gorgeous scenery. And sheer cliffs of danger. The princess survived. Somehow. Pictures will be forthcoming. Caitlin slept more. And worked. Work was okay. People are dumb. That's what I have to say about work.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Day 11
Caitlin slept more. Lazy good for nothing. Work was fairly boring. Kay was delivered to the airport without difficulty. Colleen was thrown a sleeping bag and some long underwear. Hopefully she went camping with Matt. Kristin. Heather. Jonathan. And the cutest smartest best baby in the world. Ian. Serene Lake was the plan. Who knows what actually happened.
Day 10
Caitlin slept. Colleen drove around getting lost in Caitlin's car. Seriously lost. Car was returned in one piece, thankfully. Shopping and eating were done. Then movie watching with Matt and Kristin. Then the princess made me food. Yay! Buffalo spaghetti. Which sounds like a song.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Day 9
Wine tasting!! Went out to Dundee for some tasty wine tastings. Hit the big favorite spots. Said hi to all of Matt's old buddies. Maresh, Bela Vida, Torii Mor, Lange. I think that was it. But that was more than enough. Then Pineapple Express, which one, despite my misgivings and my complete lack of pot smoking, very good. Fall out of one's chair, knee slapping hilarious. Much better than that shit movie Mamma Mia that my sister dragged me to. Then we sat on the half done porch dreaming of the day when it will be complete. Tomorrow. Yay!
Day 8
Birthday! Went to breakfast at mother's. Ate too much. Had cake. Mimosas. Delicious. Met the Collegenet crew for baseball. And drinks, naturally. Beavers lost, but way fun to watch from a more open seating arrangement. And with PGE park bucks to spend. Especially after we discovered the margaritas. Jakes for dinner/happy hour. Home for a nap. Over to NoPo for more drinks. Ended up at the Alibi for more drinks and karoake. Not a bad day.
Day 7: reality
So, Oneonta was amazing. Colleen and Kristin went all bad-ass and swam in the frigid glacier fed waterfall pool. Feet go numb with the bitter cold. Gorgeous greens. Tiny fish. Slippery rocks. Got there in time for the sun to be shining directly in so it was fantastic. Ate ice cream. Picked up Kay. Went on a scenic driving tour of the gorge, etc. Missed Maryhill. Went home.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Day 7
Today we have planned a walk through the Oneanta gorge to the glacier fed waterfall and pool at the end. Then a pickup at the airport, followed by a real stonehenge and some albino peacocks.
Day 6
Colleen still not feeling well. Hung out in a park, reading books. Then joined Vonnie and Kristin for downtown fun. Art museum closed, so we wandered around the Pearl. Gelato, art galleries, awesome stores, coffee carts, fountains, pizza. Then back home for dog duty, read some more. Beautiful day, clear skies, hot. Fountain was amazing.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Day 5
Breakfast out, very delicious. Damn well better be after an hour wait. Then off to raft/float down the Sandy River. In a leaky raft. At max occupancy. Day turned out to be gorgeous. Eventually. Very cold August. Didn't get warm till 3 ish. And we're talking 75. But very sunny. And fun.
Day 4
Yesterday, plan was for camping. Camping did not occur. Very cold here in the NW. Everyone just a little hungover from Friday night. Saw the FlugTag instead. Had a little lunch, hung out a little in the backyard of Matt's. Watched Blade Runner on the big screen. Not a bad movie. Harrison Ford was so much hotter 20 some years ago. But back to the FlugTag. Grown men dress up, make flying machine, do a silly dance, jump in the craft and jump off this 30 foot pier into the Willamete. No joke. Often times, they don't get much loft. Maybe 10 feet. I think 26 was the longest. 5 the shortest. And that craft was a banana canoe that fell apart before lift off. Best was the Lego men doing a synchronized beer dance and taking off in their lego plane.
Day 3: part 2
After the movie, Colleen went to sleep. I went out drinking. Funs times were had by all.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Day 3: part 1
Colleen feels ill. Caitlin called in sick to play on sauvie island. Then it rained and was cold. Sasha also feels ill. And Kristin is anti- cold weather picnics. :( So, we are going to go to a movie. A secret, shameful movie. Time to prepare the snacks to sneak in.
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